Panty Raids & Kissy Kisses
by CodyRhodesFan
Summary: A chatroom story that involves online romance, car sex, stalking & Jeff's edible panties. XD! Written on impulse. COMPLETED WITH THE FLUFF. OH GOD.
1. Chapter 1

**I just felt like it. Don't ask. XD! We need more humor stories by meh. X3!**

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Panty Raids & Kissy Kisses  
Rated: +18 - language; heavy mentions of sex  
Summary: a chatroom story that involves online romance, car sex, stalking & Jeff's edible panties. XD! Written on impulse.  
Genre: Humor/General

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_SexOnARainbow signed on_

_IGOTAFUCKINGCAR signed on_

_SxEAngelFace signed on_

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: SxEAngelFace? You must be joking...

SxEAngelFace: 'Cause I'm such an innocent little angel. X3!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...you fucked my English teacher.

SxEAngelFace: he raped me.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...the moans said it all.

SxEAngelFace: ha, he wants me.

SexOnARainbow: Great, my brother & my best friend are internet-sexing in front of me.

SxEAngelFace: ...Jeff?

SexOnARainbow: now, that I'm finally out of the house, I can tell you, Matty. I fucked at least thirty guys every date & I've been doing this since I was 12. The babysitter that you employed was awesome. I'm currently wearing edible panties. Love you.

SxEAngelFace: FREEDOM! XD!

SexOnARainbow: Matt?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...

SexOnARainbow: Matt?

IGOTAFUCKING CAR: Imma kill you! Imma find you & destroy you & kill you & kill you & kill you & DID I MENTION THAT I WAS GONNA FIND YOU & DESTROY YOU & KILL YOU?!

SexOnARainbow: ...did you even read my username? I've had it since I was five.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...

SxEAngelFace: he reads my username & he doesn't read yours. Ha, he wants me!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: Imma kill him too! YOU'RE BOTH GONNA DIE! You're both gonna be destroyed! BOTH OF YOU!

SexOnARainbow: ...well, I'm out of the state, so I'm happy!

SxEAngelFace: speak for yourself, selfish, selfish boy.

SexOnARainbow: by the way, Matty, Adam is awesome in bed.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...YOU TOUCHED MY BEST FRIEND?! HOLY SHIT! YOU ARE GROUNDED! Wait-you-I-

SexOnARainbow: I have been waiting SO many years to say that!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...Imma...Imma...

SxEAngelFace: drive him over with your new fucking car! What's a 'fucking car' by the way?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: how did he pass high school?!

SxEAngelFace: I wore Jeff's thongs.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I hate you so much.

SxEAngelFace: I love you too, doll face.

SexOnARainbow: Aww! ChipMUNK fluff!

SxEAngelFace: the 'fucking car' makes more sense than Jeff.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I'm surrounded by idiots.

SexOnARainbow: except me! I'm the only one that's in college!

SxEAngelFace: you're a nerd for God's sake!

SexOnARainbow: a sexy nerd.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: Jeffro, when I visit you, I swear you won't live until your 18th birthday.

SxEAngelFace: he already turned 18.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...not if I say so.

SxEAngelFace: that's the stupidest thing I heard!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I know where you live.

SxEAngelFace: I mean...stupidly right. RIGHT. It's right.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: nice save!

SexOnARainbow: So, Matty, tell me about this car of yours.

SxEAngelFace: me and Matt are going to use it to go around people's houses and panty-raid them & then we fuck in it. Is that what a 'fucking car' is?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...Punkers, you're glad you have your looks.

SxEAngelFace: why?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: may he be happy that he's not sitting right next to me or he'd be long dead by now.

SxEAngelFace: ...

SxEAngelFace: why?

SexOnARainbow: I'll tell you later.

SxEAngelFace: yay! Oh, I need to tell you something! I got a kissy kiss from Marky Mark!

SexOnARainbow: ...that's not shocking.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: it is. They didn't have sex yet.

SxEAngelFace: haha, Mr. Hardy Har har.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ... you want me.

SxEAngelFace: that's my line!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I can steal stuff from you!

SxEAngelFace: ...I swear he's going to a panty raid in my house. There's a mysterious guy who's been stealing my underwear. Any thoughts?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...

SexOnARainbow: Matty, give Phil his underwear back.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: why would I have his underwear for?

SxEAngelFace: 'cause it's hot.

SexOnARainbow: *giggles*

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I can still hear that girly giggle from here.

SexOnARainbow: you know you're daydreaming of me.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...why is everyone I know a conceited bitch?

_ILoveMyAbs signed on_

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: speaking of conceited bitches...

ILoveMyAbs: shut up. You know you want me.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: okay, why do I want like fifteen people?!

SexOnARainbow: *gaspgasp* DAMMIT! He calls me a slut when he's a playa.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ... you are a slut. I'm not a playa. Hell, the only person I ever made love to is the food in my mouth.

SxEAngelFace: wait, you're a virgin?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: it's not funny.

ILoveMyAbs: I love you guys's conversations! They always make me laugh! XD!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: now, he's gonna XD everything we say.

ILoveMyAbs: XD!

SxEAngelFace: Matty, if you're a virgin, I'd love to teach you a few moves...

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: bitch.

SxEAngelFace: sexy bitch.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: you make me want to befriend some emo kids! I swear! Everyone loves themselves a little too much!

SxEAngelFace: like you don't. Remember last night?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: ...

ILoveMyAbs: XD!

SexOnRainbow: oohh...what happened last night?!

_IGOTAFUCKINGCAR signed off_

_SxEAngelFace signed off_

SexOnARainbow: DAMMIT!

_SexOnARainbow signed off_

ILoveMyAbs: hello? Anyone here?

_ILoveMyAbs signed off_

_IGOTAFUCKINGCAR signed on_

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: what? My internet just cut me off.

_SxEAngelFace signed on_

SxEAngelFace: same story!

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: jeezum. You think Jeff would be dying to know what happened.

SxEAngelFace: Imma meet you in a minute for our ice cream run.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I'll pick you up in my car.

SxEAngelFace: do we really have to fuck? 'Cause I'm tired! I mean, Adam really hit me at the wrong angle.

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: O.O. Me & Adam need to have a serious talk later on. And no, you don't need to fuck in a fucking car.

SxEAngelFace: then why is it called a fucking car?

IGOTAFUCKINGCAR: I'll tell you later.

SxEAngelFace: alright!

_SxEAngelFace signed off_

_IGOTAFUCKINGCAR signed off_

_Y2J/Metallicafan&IronMaidenfan&KISSlove signed on_

Y2J/Metallicafan&IronMaidenfan&KISSlove: & they wonder why I never go on chatrooms. There's no one here!

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**I had a ton of fun writing this. X3!**

**X Sam.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is so easy & fun to write. XD!**

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_SexOnARainbow signed on_

_ILoveMyAbs signed on_

SexOnARainbow: hello, baby.

ILoveMyAbs: HELP! I'm a victim of a serial sexer! O.O.

SexOnARainbow: sorry for loving sex a little too much.

ILoveMyAbs: your love for sex is nothing compared to my love for abs.

SexOnARainbow: that bad?

ILoveMyAbs: YES!

SexOnARainbow: so we getting together tonight for it?

ILoveMyAbs: …do you even have to ask? I love the way you play with my ass.

SexOnARainbow: you're one of the only people I'd dom, John. X3!

ILoveMyAbs: how many people have you said that too?

SexOnARainbow: how many people do you think I fuck daily?!

ILoveMyAbs: …

SexOnARainbow: okay, bad question.

ILoveMyAbs: tell me about it! XD!

SexOnARainbow: okay, fine, how many guys do you really think I get together with?

ILoveMyAbs: 6 on Tuesday, 5 on Wednesday, 2 on Thursday, 4 on Friday, 10 on Sunday, 10 on Saturday, 3 on Monday. That right?

SexOnARainbow: how'd you get to know me that well? …even Phil doesn't know that.

ILoveMyAbs: Phil told me that!

SexOnARainbow: Phil told me that you defrost your own fridge.

ILoveMyAbs: how did he know that?!

SexOnARainbow: you really defrost your own fridge? AWESOME! DO MINE!

ILoveMyAbs: wow, Jeff's way of saying 'I love you'.

SexOnARainbow: what's wrong with being unique?!

ILoveMyAbs: that's unique?!

SexOnARainbow: …pretty much.

ILoveMyAbs: why are you in college?

SexOnARainbow: 'cause I'm a sexy nerd.

ILoveMyAbs: and they call me conceited!

_PhilIsMyAngel has just signed on_

PhilIsMyAngel: I'm gonna kill Punkers for changing my screen name!

SexOnARainbow: Phil changed your screen name?! XD! Matty!

PhilIsMyAngel: it isn't funny at all, Jeffro.

SexOnARainbow: it is! XD! Oh, did Phil change it or did you? Come on! Tell me exactly what you meant yesterday when Phil said that you loved yourself a little too much last night.

PhilIsMyAngel: what happened is between me and Phil.

SexOnARainbow: are you and Phil together? X3.

PhilIsMyAngel: NO! What gave you that stupid idea!?

SexOnARainbow: I dunno…ask the million people that's seen you too get friendly & then tell me! You two are like the sex.

PhilIsMyAngel: Sorry. I'm planning to stay a virgin until marriage. I was helping Phil pick out…something.

SexOnARainbow: a thong for his date?!

PhilIsMyAngel: NO!

SexOnARainbow: you killed the dude, didn't you?!

PhilIsMyAngel: I don't have any feelings for Phil.

_RAdz22 signed on_

RAdz22: Matt, you wanted to talk to me?

PhilIsMyAngel: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU & SKIN YOU ALIVE!

RAdz22: …I swear I didn't touch Phil!

PhilIsMyAngel: WHY DOES EVERYONE PERSUME I LIKE PHIL!? We have nothing together! Nothing at all!

RAdz22: …your username?

PhilIsMyAngel: Punkers hacked into my account!

_SxEAngelFace signed on_

PhilIsMyAngel: speak of the slut & he shall appear.

SxEAngelFace: that isn't nice!

RAdz22: Phil?

SxEAngelFace: yeah?

RAdz22: IMMA DIE JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR 'QUICKIE'! Why'd you tell your boyfriend about that quickie?

SxEAngelFace: boyfriend? Huh? He's not my boyfriend!

RAdz22: thank God! Then why is he so mad at me?!

PhilIsMyAngel: I HAVE A BROTHER THAT YOU TAINTED!

RAdz22: tainted?! HE TAINTED ME!

SexOnARainbow: what did I miss? I went to get my Chemistry book.

RAdz22: Jeffro! Tell him that you're the slut, not me!

SexOnARainbow: …IMMA KILL YOU!

PhilIsMyAngel: IMMA KILL YOU, ADAM!

RAdz22: …O.O. Whoa, they really are brothers.

SxEAngelFace: I'm enjoying the show.

ILoveMyAbs: so am I…wait, ADAM!? YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!

PhilIsMyAngel: …actually, John is gonna kill you.

ILoveMyAbs: IMMA STAPLE THAT GUY'S FACE!

RAdz22: now you should be scared of him! YOU HAVE A REASON TO BE SCARED OF JOHN BUT NOT JEFFRO THE SLUT OR MATT THE VIRGIN! XP!

ILoveMyAbs: what am I?

RAdz22: …my heart?

ILoveMyAbs: don't try with me!

RAdz22: the guy who's gonna give me two minutes to live?

ILoveMyAbs: RIGHT!

SxEAngelFace: I'm glad I'm almost never in trouble.

SexOnARainbow: you?! You're always in trouble! Remember last year, in English class when you asked the teacher if his wife knew you did a quickie with him?! IN FRONT OF HER?!

SxEAngelFace: …I didn't know she looked that bad!

RAdz22: I know that one! Did you see the look on his face, Matty?! PRICELESS. He looked like he was going to shit himself was he was like 'Philip Brooks, YOU ARE SO DEAD!' then Phil was like 'no, you're the one who's dead.' XD! Shows how smart Phil can be sometimes!

PhilIsMyAngel: Phil? SMART?! OH MY GOD! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH THIS HARD! XD! XD! Phil?! SMART?!

RAdz22: No, I mixed Phil up with Mike, my bad.

PhilIsMyAngel: MIKE?! Mike is worse! Punkers, how much do you have in Math, English, & Social?

SxEAngelFace: …C, C+, B-, why?!

PhilIsMyAngel: ??? Is that true, Adam or is he just joking?

RAdz22: he fucked them.

PhilIsMyAngel: makes much more sense.

SxEAngelFace: HEY! I WORKED HARD FOR THAT GRADE!

PhilIsMyAngel: yeah…& I love watching 90210.

SexOnARainbow: YOU DO!

PhilIsMyAngel: I swear! No one can tell you nothing!

_InLoveWithABrunette signed on_

InLoveWithABrunette: Phil! I got the sketches!

SxEAngelFace: You did?! Oh, thank God! X3! I love you for that, Teddy!

ILoveMyAbs: What?! TED DIBIASE?!

SexOnARainbow: yeah, he changed his username from ConceitedWealthy&IHateEveryone to I'mActuallyHuman. XD!

InLoveWithABrunette: may I remind you about Grade 6, Jeffro.

SexOnARainbow: …

PhilIsMyAngel: tell me that Ted didn't fuck Jeffro.

InLoveWithABrunette: no! We were in this project thing and he dared me to go into a bunny costume but I said no and he said that he'll find a way to make me wear it. When I was asleep, he dressed me up into a bunny costume and put plastic eggs into a basket that had 'Cody' written on it. He glued the basket to my hands so there was no way I could take off the costume and the basket too. When I raised my hand, I had to do it with my left so the teacher wondered and I raised my other one so half of the eggs fell & stuff. EVERYONE LAUGHED AT ME FOR TWO YEARS, JEFFRO. NOT COOL.

PhilIsMyAngel: that's it, Jeffro? A bunny costume? We should've painted his brunette's body in stripes & stuff! GET IT?! Easter bunny!

SexOnARainbow: We should bathe your face in 'I love Phil Brooks'.

PhilIsMyAngel: I HATE YOU.

SexOnARainbow: I love you, too, big brother. X3!

SxEAngelFace: I'm too busy laughing my ass off. XD! Ted! XD!

ILoveMyAbs: and not to mention, that thing Jeffro did to Phil in Grade 9!

SxEAngelFace: Don't. You. Dare. Remind. Me.

PhilIsMyAngel: OHH! DIRT! TELL ME MORE!

SxEAngelFace: just another gossip bitch.

SexOnARainbow: XD! Matt gossips! X3!

SxEAngelFace: it's all that 90210!

SexOnARainbow: I put empty champagne bottles in Phil's locker so when he opened it, it all fell down & it broke & he had to clean it up! Not to mention, I put like cigarette packets in his bag so when his backpack fell, everything fell so Phil had to go to the principal! XD!

SxEAngelFace: I HATE YOU!

SexOnARainbow: I have Victoria's Secrets for you!

SxEAngelFace: did I mention how much I LOVE YOU?!

PhilIsMyAngel: that is a disturbing image in my head. O.O.

SxEAngelFace: disturbing my ass! He so wants me!

ILoveMyAbs: ChipMUNK!

SexOnARainbow: Imma save this conversation! XD!

InLoveWithABrunette: so you can add to your memorabilia, Jeffro?

ILoveMyAbs: Definitely! Jeffy's memorabilia's are awesome!

SxEAngelFace: memorabilia's?! What do you have in there anyways?!

ILoveMyAbs: he's got a memorabilia for you & Matt, for why does he hate Matt so much, & a memorabilia about not stepping in on Matt's room late at night 'cause there would be sex tapes on!

SxEAngelFace: …HARDYCEST!

SexOnARainbow: who?! ME & MATTY?! LMAFO! Thanks, Punkers! I needed something to laugh about!

SxEAngelFace: *pouts*

SexOnARainbow: put on your webcam, Punkers! SHOW MATT THE MAGIC!

PhilIsMyAngel: I'm not gonna fall for anything!

_SxEAngelFace has put on his webcam._

PhilIsMyAngel: …that's his pout?!

SxEAngelFace: YES!

PhilIsMyAngel: how does your family survive Christmas?!

SxEAngelFace: XD! They don't! Wait until my birthday! I do that plus the puppy eyebrows & the almost gonna cry face.

PhilIsMyAngel: O.O. Wow.

SexOnARainbow: don't remind me! That's how he got me to collect all my pocket money until I bought him a kitty! …Reminds me, how's the little Matt?

PhilIsMyAngel: Why MATT?!

SxEAngelFace: 'cause she eats a lot!

PhilIsMyAngel: SHE!?

SxEAngelFace: yes!

InLoveWithABrunette: Phil, when do we meet tomorrow for the…thing? I'm meeting up with you & Matt, right?

ILoveMyAbs: Phil, just tell us what happened!

InLoveWithABrunette: no! It's a secret!

SxEAngelFace: yeah, I told you the details in the e-mail. You got the sketches, I got the workers, Matt got the money so yeah…X3!

InLoveWithABrunette: aren't you too young?

SxEAngelFace: it's a tradition, I'm afraid!

ILoveMyAbs: what tradition!?

SexOnARainbow: PUNKERS! YOU WERE MY FRIEND SINCE GRADE 2! TELL ME!

SxEAngelFace: no…

PhilIsMyAngel: I'm going to go to your house right now! X3!

SxEAngelFace: great! Ted, are you coming?

InLoveWithABrunette: no, me & my brunette have an evening plan…

ILoveMyAbs: who is this brunette?!

InLoveWithABrunette: …

SxEAngelFace: CODY RHODES!

ILoveMyAbs: …huh? Why?!

InLoveWithABrunette: I dunno. Maybe 'cause he's my best friend & I've been looking out for him since we were babies. Our parents used to make us spend a lot of time with each other 'cause Cody's family is close to mine…maybe just that.

ILoveMyAbs: you're all weird.

SxEAngelFace: & I thought I was dense. Okay, GTG. With Matt!

PhilIsMyAngel: Yeah! Gotta go!

_SxEAngelFace signed off_

_PhilIsMyAngel signed off_

InLoveWithABrunette: off to get ready!

_InLoveWithABrunette signed off_

SexOnARainbow: John? Lattes?

ILoveMyAbs: YOU READ MY MIND!

_SexOnARainbow signed off_

_ILoveMyAbs signed off_

RAdz22: What? I went to go get popcorn.

RAdz22: Hello? Is anyone here?

RAdz22: I'll tell you Matt's underwear size.

RAdz22: …no one's really here! Oh!

_RAdz22 signed off_

_Y2J signed on_

Y2J: changed my username…

Y2J: …why do I even bother?!

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**XD!**

**Review??**

**X Sam. **

_**I LOVE KASSY**_**. X3! Which reminds meh, I got addicted to the song '**_**Under the Rose'**_**. Oh mah God, it's so nice. XD!**


	3. Chapter 3

**How I missed this fic, XP!**

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_SexOnARainbow has signed on_

_SxEAngelFace has signed on_

SxEAngelFace: wait, where's Matt?

SexOnARainbow: and they wonder why everyone presumes they're together…*insert sigh here*

SxEAngelFace: who's they? You're not seeing someone behind my back, are you, Jeffro?

SexOnARainbow: …you're glad you have your looks.

SxEAngelFace: …why?

SexOnARainbow: …

SxEAngelFace: I gotta a scholarship!

SexOnARainbow: BRB. I gotta go faint.

_SexOnARainbow is away (fainting)_

_PhilIsMyAngel has signed on_

PhilIsMyAngel: …why's Jeff on away? He went to get a quickie with Adam?! O.O.

SxEAngelFace: …no, I got a scholarship.

PhilIsMyAngel: no, seriously.

SxEAngelFace: I GOTTA A SCHOLARSHIP! Why is that so hard to believe?!

PhilIsMyAngel: it's like me being a virgin…it's SO damn unexpected…especially with my looks…

SxEAngelFace: he calls us conceited. Look who's talking.

PhilIsMyAngel: you infected me.

SxEAngelFace: I'm wearing Jeffy's edible panties right now. Haha!

PhilIsMyAngel: …I still can't believe that exists. What's the world today depend on?

_RAdz22 has signed on_

_RAdz22 has put on his webcam_

RAdz22: bear, sex, and Matt in a bikini.

PhilIsMyAngel: …he just gets hard at the thought of me subbing him. The idiot.

RAdz22: and Jeffy's edible panties.

PhilIsMyAngel: …Adam, you're my best friend, really, but make a move on my brother and you'll find yourself dead, do I make myself clear?

RAdz22: I got that salmon roll you wanted!

PhilIsMyAngel: TAKE JEFF. GIVE ME THE YUMMY FISHIE GOODNESS. O.O.

SxEAngelFace: …sushi is disgusting. Salmon is disgusted. Seafood is shit.

PhilIsMyAngel: I HATE YOU.

RAdz22: ahh, the love/hate relationship…

PhilIsMyAngel: instead of studying ChipMUNKology, go study Biology!

RAdz22: I lost the book!

PhilIsMyAngel: it's in front of the desk. Adam, you have your webcam on, you dolt.

RAdz22: according to this picture, you don't!

PhilIsMyAngel: QUICK! BEFORE MY BROTHER COMES BACK, CRUMBLE IT UP OR SOMETHING!

_SxEAngelFace is away (dying from laughter)_

RAdz22: it's not so bad!

_SexOnARainbow has signed on_

SexOnARainbow: OMG! MATTY! O.O.

PhilIsMyAngel: It isn't me! It's only someone who looks like me and has the same weird birthmark as me…and has the same name as me…

_SxEAngelFace has signed on_

SxEAngelFace: really? Tell me more of this twin brother you never told us of.

SexOnARainbow: MATTY! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! XD!

PhilIsMyAngel: shut up.

SexOnARainbow: you should model for Victoria's Secret! XD!

PhilIsMyAngel: IT WAS A DARE! O.O. FORGET IT.

SxEAngelFace: …I want the clothes, Matt.

PhilIsMyAngel: NO!

RAdz22: 'cause you're in love with Phil and you're gonna run away to a happy land and live far away from us, to raise cattle.

PhilIsMyAngel: NO!

RAdz22: …do you love Jeff?

PhilIsMyAngel: NO!

SexOnARainbow: old news, Addy. I realized that when I sent a naked picture of Matt to my science teacher in Grade 9.

PhilIsMyAngel: NOT FUNNY.

SxEAngelFace: HE DID THAT TO ME TOO! O.O.

PhilIsMyAngel: who doesn't know how your ass looks like?

SxEAngelFace: there's that guy at the Deli store… he doesn't like looking at my ass when we fuck-

PhilIsMyAngel: …WHY?! OH GOOD LORD, WHY?!

SxEAngelFace: I KNOW! My ass is beautiful!

_PhilIsMyAngel is away (killing himself)_

SexOnARainbow: YAYYYYY!

SxEAngelFace: I miss him already. I never got to know what a fucking car was! O.O.

PhilIsMyAngel: THAT'S THE ONLY REASON YOU MISS ME?!

SxEAngelFace: THE GHOST OF MATT! OH GOD NO!

RAdz22: …

SexOnARainbow: Phil, did you find out who was stealing underwear?

SxEAngelFace: yes, yes, yes, I found out!

SexOnARainbow: WHO!?

SxEAngelFace: YOU!

SexOnARainbow: …I never thought you'd find out, XD!

SxEAngelFace: what are you doing with my underwear, Jeff?!

SexOnARainbow: they're cute and my size, why wouldn't I take them? :P

SxEAngelFace: …point taken.

PhilIsMyAngel: JEFFY! YOU SLUT!

SexOnARainbow: thank you. *insert heart here*

SxEAngelFace: shouldn't you be killing yourself?!

SexOnARainbow: that sounded odd…

RAdz22: I've been friends with you three forever. Nothing sounds odd now!

SexOnARainbow: YAY! Also…Phil, what is this tradition thing and that you love too much thing going on?! I mean, Matt and you…what are you two hiding?!

SxEAngelFace: that Matt is gonna be a Daddy.

_SexOnARainbow is away (laughing his ass off)_

PhilIsMyAngel: he took that well…

SexOnARainbow: but why is Phil helping him?!

PhilIsMyAngel: …he's the 'mommy' of my adopted baby.

SxEAngelFace: his name is Jackie Chan and he's Chinese.

PhilIsMyAngel: …PHIL! I thought we agreed that he was gonna be Barney and that he was demented!

SxEAngelFace: OH YEAH!

SexOnARainbow: so Barney or Jackie Chan?

PhilIsMyAngel: …hmmm…

SxEAngelFace: I KNOW! I KNOW!

PhilIsMyAngel: ??

SxEAngelFace: how about Pepsi?

PhilIsMyAngel: so we're pitching food now.

SxEAngelFace: you mention any type of seafood then I'm shoving my webcam up your ass!

PhilIsMyAngel: …then you'll be able to see my ass.

SxEAngelFace: YOUR VIRGIN ASS.

PhilIsMyAngel: IT ISN'T FUNNY, OKAY?!

SxEAngelFace: It's funny alright!

SexOnARainbow: …

SxEAngelFace: …

PhilIsMyAngel: …

RAdz22: …

SxEAngelFace: BENJAMIN!

PhilIsMyAngel: …too much Breaking Benjamin?

SexOnARainbow: agreed.

PhilIsMyAngel: you can't change his name by the way.

SxEAngelFace: so why are we pitching name ideas? Let's leave his name the same way! Duane!

PhilIsMyAngel: …how do you say it?

SexOnARainbow: I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!

PhilIsMyAngel: yup. Come back to see your nephew!

SexOnARainbow: NOOO! You're gonna kill me then!

PhilIsMyAngel: Oh great. He knows all. He really is a nerd.

SxEAngelFace: sexy nerd!

SexOnARainbow: …he thinks so too!

RAdz22: MINE!

PhilIsMyAngel: HE'S NOT YOURS WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU, ADAM!

RAdz22: …why is my name pronounced Ad-dumb?

PhilIsMyAngel: it's a reflection of who you are.

RAdz22: …

RAdz22: …cool.

PhilIsMyAngel: GTG. With Phil.

SexOnARainbow: GTG study since Phil isn't around.

RAdz22: I'll find something to do when you idiots are gone. But it won't be any fun! OHH, PHOTOSHOP, XD!

_PhilIsMyAngel signed off_

_SxEAngelFace signed off_

_RAdz22 signed off_

_SexOnARainbow signed off_

_ILoveMyAbs signed on_

_Y2J signed on_

Y2J: FINALLY!

ILoveMyAbs: HEY, JERICHO!

Y2J: ...

Y2J: I HATE YOU.

_Y2J signed off_

ILoveMyAbs: ...that's why he gets online for?

_ILoveMyAbs signed off_

__

**XD!**

**Review? :3**

**X Sam.**  
**_(donate to the Kasseh and Sam love foundation. I LOVE YOU.)_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yesh. I has found time to update. -_- I'm tired and that's the only reason why I'm updating. I have no energy to do anything else. **

_

* * *

SexOnARainbow signed on_

_RAdz22 signed on_

RAdz22: oh great. Jeffro is online…

_PhilIsMyAngel signed on_

_SxEAngelFace signed on_

RAdz22: and here comes the rest of you all…

PhilIsMyAngel: has anyone missed me?

RAdz22: …as much as a fat kid misses cake?

SxEAngelFace: …I thought it was "just like a fat kid loves cake"…oh, this makes more sense than the other one! :O

PhilIsMyAngel: …how dare you two think of us getting together? I'm too smart.

RAdz22: I can say a hundred things to prove why you two belong together but I'd rather not.

SexOnARainbow: I have an entire shrine dedicated to this. How's Duane?

PhilIsMyAngel: he won't stop crying! -_-

SexOnARainbow: …he is sorta a baby if anyone noticed?

PhilIsMyAngel: …why's he crying?!

SxEAngelFace: I got it handled. I'm just so awesome I can type with one hand. =D

PhilIsMyAngel: I better get used to this.

SxEAngelFace: yeah, you better!

RAdz22: let me get this straight…you two are living in the same house, have a child and you still don't think you're convinced for each other?

SxEAngelFace: pretty much.

PhilIsMyAngel: hell yeah.

RAdz22: and you're both online and you're probably inches away from each other.

PhilIsMyAngel: not true. Phil is upstairs and I'm downstairs, watching the game and talking to you guys…where's Jeff?

RAdz22: …if you're gonna blow someone, put your status as away or something.

SexOnARainbow: sorry. I'm doing my homework.

RAdz22: …God, that nerdiness is hot. :O

PhilIsMyAngel: …they have no shame in saying it in front of the big brother.

RAdz22: maybe 'cause I can break the arm of said brother in seconds.

PhilIsMyAngel: Point taken.

_Duane has just signed on_

PhilIsMyAngel: …Phil, did our son just sign on?!

SxEAngelFace: I made him an email. XD.

PhilIsMyAngel: …dude, he's three years old!

SxEAngelFace: he's smart. :O

RAdz22: …you made a three year old child an account?

Duane: 2r454354364353

RAdz22: OMG. That's so adorable!

PhilIsMyAngel: …already, Phil has turned our son into a computer addict.

SexOnARainbow: already, he's Phil and Matt's baby. Also, Phil, how's the college and stuff for you?

SxEAngelFace: dropped out before I even started? I'm taking care of baby!

PhilIsMyAngel: I have the strange urge to kiss Phil.

SexOnARainbow: I will document this conversation. May 6, 2010, Matt said he had an urge to kiss Phil.

PhilIsMyAngel: if your homework had anything to do with us, then you aced it…-_-

Duane: 2435dfgdrtehgfdfsd

PhilIsMyAngel: …hello, Duane.

Duane: 2dfgdffsdfs3

PhilIsMyAngel: aw! That's adorable!

Y2J has signed on

SexOnARainbow: hey, baby.

Y2J: hey, baby.

Duane: 46dfgdffsds

Y2J: …dude, he needs an English class or fifteen thousand.

PhilIsMyAngel: that's my son.

Y2J: …same mental capacity too.

SexOnARainbow: …CHRIS!

Y2J: fine, baby. I'll be good for now.

SexOnARainbow: good boy.

RAdz22: oh great. I lost a possible love interest to one of my best friends.

PhilIsMyAngel: I'd rather have Addy date Jeff than Jeff date Chris.

SexOnARainbow: we didn't have any sex yet.

PhilIsMyAngel: …hello, brother-in-law.

Y2J: …should I be flattered?

SxEAngelFace: I have no idea.

Y2J: …hello, Phil. How's the baby?

SxEAngelFace: he's great! =D I'll BRB. Me and Matt are gonna go out.

Y2J: Date.

PhilIsMyAngel: NOT.

SexOnARainbow: DATE.

PhilIsMyAngel: you two really are compatible. Being annoying and shit like that…

SexOnARainbow: I love you too, Matty. Take care of yourselves!

_**

* * *

TWO HOURS LATER**_

SexOnARainbow: you two are annoying!

Y2J: …babe, did we anger you?

_PhilIsMyAngel has just signed on_

PhilIsMyAngel: huh?

Y2J: …hello, jackass.

SexOnARainbow: he means that in a polite way.

PhilIsMyAngel: of course he does.

SexOnARainbow: Matty, Chris says that Star Trek is better than Star Wars and—and Addy agrees with him!

PhilIsMyAngel: …

PhilIsMyAngel: nerd.

SexOnARainbow: Matty! It's good to have you back! Where's Phil?

PhilIsMyAngel: asleep.

SexOnARainbow: …you didn't do anything, did you?!

PhilIsMyAngel: it was a kiss. That's it. Now I'm downstairs, on the couch, with Duane asleep…

SexOnARainbow: YAYYY!

PhilIsMyAngel: we aren't marching down the aisle, Jeff. We're just friends.

SexOnARainbow: friends who make out and live together and have a baby.

PhilIsMyAngel: but still friends.

Y2J: …and Jeff and I are friends too.

RAdz22: …it was horrible. I was watching these two make out on a webcam.

PhilIsMyAngel: …I'm so happy I missed it.

SexOnARainbow: Imma call Phil right now.

"…Jeff?"

"Yeah?"

"…don't call me in the middle of the night."

"…okay."

SexOnARainbow has signed on

RAdz22: what'd he say?

SexOnARainbow: that he loves Matt and wants to marry him and wants to raise cattle with him.

PhilIsMyAngel: sureeee…

SexOnARainbow: okay, he flipped and told me not to call him in the middle of the night.

PhilIsMyAngel: he's really tired.

RAdz22: what sex position did you two fuck in?

PhilIsMyAngel: …you know, didn't it consider to you that he's tired because he was lugging around a baby for 24 hours?

RAdz22: …so you had bed sex 'cause you couldn't leave the bed just in case the baby calls and stuff?

PhilIsMyAngel: I'm still a virgin.

RAdz22: and he'll die one too.

PhilIsMyAngel: I can stop being a virgin whenever I wanna stop.

RAdz22: and give it to me.

PhilIsMyAngel: …yeah, right.

RAdz22: too in love with Phil, huh?

PhilIsMyAngel: Adam, do you value your life?

RAdz22: I'm in college. I don't value anything but my beer.

PhilIsMyAngel: that's my Adam.

SexOnARainbow: …Imma go offline now!

Y2J: me too! I wanna go to Jeffy's!

PhilIsMyAngel: please keep this encounter PG-13. -_-

SexOnARainbow has signed off

_Y2J has signed off_

PhilIsMyAngel: I'll go to bed.

RAdz22: …it's only one in the morning. -_-

_PhilIsMyAngel has signed off_

RAdz22: …nobody to talk to…

_RAdz22 has signed off_

**

* * *

I honestly don't know what I'm doing anymore. XD. Oh well.**

**X Sam.**

**SHE WHO LOVES KASSANDRA. ;D  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh, there's an actual face-to-face contact here. XD. YAY. =3 Oh, and this is pretty much the ending. I got bored. XD. When I get bored, I either not update or just delete...=3 Which reminds meh. I gotta go back to deleting shit I don't wanna do. XD.**

_

* * *

_

SexOnARainbow signed on

_Y2J signed on_

_PhilIsMyAngel signed on_

_SxEAngelFace signed on_

_RAdz22 signed on_

RAdz22: I just had sex. I'm happy.

SexOnARainbow: …without me, Matty!

PhilIsMyAngel: OH THANK GOD! I was beginning to think my Jeffro was really a slut!

SexOnARainbow: I am a slut.

PhilIsMyAngel: …-_- thanks for reminding us all.

SxEAngelFace: Duane is so adorable…

RAdz22: I saw him yesterday.

SexOnARainbow: you didn't fuck the kid, did you?

PhilIsMyAngel: well, he is Phil's baby…

SxEAngelFace: MY LOVELY BABY IS NOT A VIRGIN!

PhilIsMyAngel: …-_- dude, you're so dense. I might actually be able to put a straw from your left ear to your right ear without any irritation.

SxEAngelFace: …sugar monkey?

PhilIsMyAngel: that too.

SexOnARainbow: You two are so adorable!

Y2J: …they're so weird. They're never gonna get together, Jeff. It's one of those things when they're best friends and seem perfect for each other but they really don't have any feelings for each other.

SexOnARainbow: he needs to look at my shrine…he obviously doesn't know the pure ChipMUNK of Matt Hardy and Philip Brooks.

Y2J: …no thanks?

SexOnARainbow: IT IS NOT AN OPTION. I will tie you down and make sure you see it.

RAdz22: …that's what he said.

SexOnARainbow: shut the fuck up, Adam. You perverted bastard.

RAdz22: …it's like we're soul mates.

Y2J: hey, that is _my_ perverted geek you're talking to!

SexOnARainbow: EXACTLY!

SexOnARainbow: …hey!

Y2J: I love you the way you are, perverted, geeky and annoying.

SexOnARainbow: and you wonder why you don't get anything from me…

PhilIsMyAngel: he better not get anything from you.

SxEAngelFace: Oh God. It's the overprotective virgin. EVERYONE RUN. OR HE'LL…DO VIRGIN STUFF.

SexOnARainbow: Oh my! A real live virgin! I've never seen one before! :O

PhilIsMyAngel: haha. Really. I'm laughing my ass off. -_-

Y2J: but they just insulted you…

PhilIsMyAngel: Chris is as dense as Phil.

SxEAngelFace: hehehe. The raindrops look like monkey pee.

PhilIsMyAngel: …actually, I don't want to compare Chrissy to that.

SexOnARainbow: oh…Chrissy, last night was amazing.

PhilIsMyAngel: YOU SAID THAT YOU TWO DIDN'T DO ANYTHING YET!

Y2J: I know! That was like the best movie ever!

SexOnARainbow: I agree!

PhilIsMyAngel: …oh a movie…you're still my brother in law.

Y2J:…and you're still creepy.

PhilIsMyAngel: :D :D

SexOnARainbow: hey…Phil?

SxEAngelFace: PEOPLE KEEP STEALING MY UNDERWEAR. -_-

Y2J: maybe it was the imaginary monkeys…

RAdz22: yeah, I'm sure they developed Phil-underwear-stealing skills in the wild…

SexOnARainbow: Matt, it was fun before…stop it now. He's clearly angry.

PhilIsMyAngel: whatcha wearing now?

SxEAngelFace: nothing but jeans and a shirt.

PhilIsMyAngel: …

SexOnARainbow: that's Matty's way of saying that he's fantasizing about you, Philly.

SxEAngelFace: of course he is! I'm just that lovely!

RAdz22: …you two still aren't married yet?

SxEAngelFace: …Matt doesn't wanna.

PhilIsMyAngel: …we never discussed marriage! Hell, I know you're beautiful and all…but marriage right now?

RAdz22: I KNEW IT!

SexOnARainbow: OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! HELL YEAH! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!

SexOnARainbow: …well, once I get this Biology report done.

SxEAngelFace: I gotta goo…

PhilIsMyAngel: yeah…me too…

_SxEAngelFace signed off_

_PhilIsMyAngel signed off_

Y2J: Think it had anything to do with the fact that Matt confessed he thought Phil was pretty?

SexOnARainbow: you're lucky you're hot.

Y2J:…why?

SexOnARainbow: …it'll be alright, Chrissy…

**PantyRaids&KissyKisses**

Phil turned around to face Matt, who was sitting down there, shutting down his laptop and Phil did so on his own. Duane was silent and asleep. Phil softly moved towards Matt, breathing in the second of Matt's body and being.

"I love you." Phil confessed. "I love you."

Matt captured Phil's lips into a soft kiss, and Phil pulled away for a moment, tears springing towards his eyes. "I'm sorry…"

"For stealing my chips?"

"No, bitch!" Phil exclaimed, tears still cascading down his eyes. "For not telling you sooner. Seriously. All you think about is your stomach." Phil let out a soft laugh, the tears still falling freely.

"You're such an emotional bitch." Matt said, cupping Phil's face and kissing onto his nose. "…I guess I gotta start planning that wedding."

"Mmmhmm…" Phil nodded his head, resting his head onto Matt's lap.

"…and tell the monkeys to give back your underwear." Matt stroked Phil's back.

"I knew that you were the one stealing them!"

Matt laughed, kissing onto Phil's lips for a moment before he stroked Phil's thighs, pressing his head as close as he can to Phil's chest then taking off Phil's shirt, he sucked onto Phil's salty flesh. "Since you're not wearing underwear…"

Phil giggled. "Touch me!"

Matt reached down to unbutton Phil's pants.

Duane rest asleep in his cot.

Then there was a sound heard and Matt instantly turned around. Their perfect moment completely and utterly ruined.

"…_JEFF, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!"_

"…I told you they'd get together! Hand me ten bucks, Chris!"

"Love hurts people's wallets."

"_ANDIMMAHURTYOUIFYOUDON'TGETOUTOFMYHOUSERIGHTNOW!"_

**

* * *

**

SEE? No angst. XD.

**Nah. Just an endless mushfest that I hated so I ended it early. XD. I do 15-20 chapters. I don't do 5 chapters of something and just let it go away unless the plot is short or I lost interest. XD.**

**PEACE OUT,**

**X Sam. **


End file.
